haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
