I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
