Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
