The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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