I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I have tasted many bathrooms
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
