apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
