If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
