I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
