Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
