At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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