i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
