as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
