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Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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