I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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