At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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