you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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