Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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