I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
