How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize