So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize