And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
