Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
