You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Farmville is her only friend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
