dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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