is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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