I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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