butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
