The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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