my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
