Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
