Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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