I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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