found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
