why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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