what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
