I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there is glitter all over my balls
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