WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
