this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
