8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
