last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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