EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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