Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
