i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
