Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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