I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
