porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
