i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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