We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
