It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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