I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
