my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
