I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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