Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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