I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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