Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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