Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
