Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
