There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
