Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
