Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
babies were throwing up all over the place
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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