Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
