i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
