just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
