I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Randomize
